Aphorisms (other people)

THE YOUNG APPRENTICE

 

We are often asked – Why did you become a comedian?.

I knew I wanted to be a comedian when I was seven years old. It was then I discovered irony.

My mother would beat me (long pause) with my trophies. “You’re the worst!”

“But I got second prize!”

I knew one of them had to be wrong.

 

[Female stand-up on Paramount TV : 4/9/7 11.50pm: I didn’t get her name.]

 

Below is a collection of my favourite aphorisms.

If with the literate I am
Impelled to try an epigram,
I never seek to take the credit;
We all assume that Oscar said it.
[Dorothy Parker]

When language produces thought, instead of thought producing language,

then we are in trouble.

[Anon]

 

Attitude aligns with behaviour, rather than behaviour being a function of attitude 

[Anon]

 

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

[Wm James]

 

All noble things are as difficult as they are rare.  

[Spinoza]

 

 

Hell is Truth seen Too Late.

Hobbes

 

The Truth shall set ye free, but first it shall make ye miserable.

[Kierkegaard]

 

There are some evil mothers who are gonna tell you - everything is just dirt.

[Lou Reed]